Mindless Thoughts
by extrasystem
Summary: Oneshot. The ending of a relationship throws Tecna down a spiral of thoughts that makes her reevaluate herself and the people around her. She can't shake this feeling that claws at her soul. How did she get here? [I do not own the Winx Club or the characters, just my words.]


**Hi. This is very much AU and based off a spur of the moment idea. Also, this was only quickly edited as I wanted to keep the rawness of it. Enjoy.**

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Perhaps it was the fact that everyone in their group seamlessly paired together and the comfort they felt in each other's loneliness. Maybe it was because they had so much in common. Or, it was the responsibility that they had fallen into where they had to end up together because they were the perfect pair who shared an IQ higher than anyone's imagination. No one from the Winx club could end up with anyone other than the Specialists- that was the norm.

Oh, expectations.

A burning weight and burden that crippled each person it decided to lay its hands on. In the end, that's what slashed the already gaping wound, delivering it's final moments that had long been desired for.

It had been building for quite some time now. The awkward conversation, the forced smiles and laughs, the inability to communicate without numbers, the blank stares, the distant looks, the cold touches and, funnily enough, the dying hope of a spark that would light the dead fire between them. Neither of them had gone the extra effort to talk outside of school, missions or through their shared friends. It was simply a constant that they had grown into after a while, stomping the beginning of the birth of a fulfilling relationship. Tecna could count on one hand the number of times they went outside their dorms to see each other; three, slender fingers lifted weakly. She let out a bitter laugh that reminded her of the many she put out when her close friends asked about her boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend now.

Usually, people would be grieving over a 5-year long relationship. But, Tecna was anything but normal. Rather than the overwhelming sadness and despair, a break-up would bring, she was relieved. Her cold, hard stature was unwavering even only after mere hours. Nothing could break her down, not when she's built herself up so high. Sure, there was a part of her that regretted and pitied the end of a chapter in her life, yet she had calculated the probability of this income. It was imminent. Her numbers would never fail her, unlike the people in her life that she expects so much of and them, her.

It was fine. She was fine, really. Tecna was always alright and she was going to continue to be. There isn't a time in her life where she wasn't, bar the time in the Omega Dimension but nobody mentions it anyways. So it's best if she just ignored it and follow what everyone else does. Her friends know best about her emotional state, right? In favour of that, she takes care of their paths in life and encourages them on the route with the highest level of success.

Because that's what she does. It's what she's always done.

Everyone had painted the short-haired Fairy as a robot, unknowing of the suffocating pressure that was thrust upon her. Alfea was supposed to be different. This was the school that would turn into her sanctuary - a place that could grant her the freedom to express herself freely without judgement from her cold parents and icy neighbours. Then, her powers were revealed to specialize in technology, following her birth realm. People expect Zenithians to be emotionless, closed-off and surpass the limitations of a simple magical being. And Tecna was. She was everything and anything they thought she'd be.

Oh, stereotypes.

Behind the iron curtain was a _girl_. A being that was exposed to feelings, memories and scars just like anyone else. Someone who has suffered mentally and physically from the internal and external battles she fought with herself and her enemies. Faragonda, the Winx, the Specialists all assumed the reason why she never gave a reaction to new villains that threatened the Magical Dimension was because she had already hypothesized them. That Tecna was prepared. It wasn't the case, though. She was simply familiar with the constant fight for her wellbeing.

Dear Mama and Papa always said, _"Feelings are a distraction. We must be the higher examples of what true success and ambition are like. That's who Zenithians are, and that's who you are as well. Once you get over your little bursts of emotion, you'll finally be able to work as efficiently as possible."_

Her remote like movements lead her to lay on her hard mattress. Tecna'a teal eyes glazing over the white intricate designs on the ceiling. It was dark, the moon hiding behind manmade towers which stopped her from fully analyzing the patterns; a curve here, a flower there. It was the same throughout her empty apartment. The only furniture in her Zenith 'home' being the mattress under her. The condo a mindless gift from King Cyros to thank her for being one of the few Guardian Fairies. The Winx member bitterly scoffs. As if she had a choice.

The Alfea graduate was rarely here anyways. It was not often that she felt welcomed at the cold realm; she preferred the chatter of teenage girls and shuffle of footsteps that reassured her that she wasn't completely alone, much of many people's surprise. Don't get her wrong, she was an introvert through and through, but loneliness was dangerous. More than a decade of alone time was sufficient for the technology Fairy. Despite the abundance of friends she's made, she couldn't stop her brain from creating senseless feelings of being left out. She wasn't Bloom who was always invited by the other girls to spend a weekend together or Musa and Layla who bonded over dancing. A lanky, bronze-haired boy had been her companion for so long she had forgotten what it was like to be an outsider in her own group of friends.

Oh, Timmy.

A genuinely sweet and clueless boy that gave more than he received. Poor thing. A genius in most aspects except for social cues. He was more puzzled than she had ever seen when she called it quits. He _had_ to have foreseen the consequences of their actions that only added to the burden they called their relationship. On the other hand, she had promised them they would remain friends, but Tecna was far too intelligent to trust her own words. Things would never be the same. It was Tecna and Timmy or nothing at all. Not once did she become aware that their dynamic was shifted to the point where they could no longer share mindless thoughts and ideas. When did having a best friend cost so much? Could she even call him her best friend? Perhaps it was a cruel and heartless act.

Back to the beginning. A first-year Alfea student meeting a Red Fountain sophomore. Their unusual habits were only normal between the two; recommending varying software, technology and inventions. Even creating their own. A chemistry that made her mind woozy and mouth tremble. It was the first time she felt an attraction to anyone, nonetheless feelings- a romantic interest in a shy boy that refused to lock eyes. Timmy was part of so many of her firsts. Hell, he _was_ her first.

As time passed, so did the electricity that would spark as they were in each others company. Then, the date. That Dragon cursed dinner date. It was then that she was aware there was no going back, no _fixing_ any of it. Tecna was more relieved than she should have been when the girls called for her aid. She didn't feel guilty about it either.

Oh, Tecna.

What are we going to do with you?

A hard reboot sounded ideal.

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 **Hi again. I hope you enjoyed this slightly dark fic that I quite enjoyed writing. There really aren't too many Tecna centred stories so I decided to do one, especially about her thoughts and such. I'd like to jump in with the idea of mental illness alongside the Winx members.**

 **If you liked this, please check out my other story _Matlin_.**

 **Your opinions and feedback would be very much appreciated as well.**

 **Until next time...**


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